Feb 5, 2009

Writing Assignment - Liar Liar Pants on Fire

Ok, I really don't have time for this....but I need to work on something other than the yearbook for 5 minutes.

So I am going to take on the writing assignment over at Mama's Losin It. The prompts this week are appealing:

1.) Tell us about a lie you told that you later regretted.
2.) Choose a task you'd like someone to complete and write a poem asking them to do it.
3.) Describe a talent you have.
4.) Write a list of ten things on your mind this week.

I could take on #1, #3 and #4 but considering my time limitations I am going to choose to do just #1.

Hi, my name is Michelle and back in 1989 I told a lie that I ended up regretting. Let me set the stage for the lie that I created oh so many years ago.

I was a student at SDSU and I was the proud owner of a green Datsun 260Z.



Not a picture of the car I owned, but this is it's twin sister.  It was my very first car and I loved it.  It was low, it was solid and it was fast.  It was a teenagers dream come true.  

As I happily left my last class of the day I jumped into my little love and started up the engine. Just as I was starting to pull out of my parking spot I heard this tiny little "tick-tick" sound coming from my dashboard.  It didn't sound like a noise my car would make, but what did I know, I was young!

It wasn't until I was pulling out of my parking spot that I saw the little creature that was doing acrobatics around my car.



The escapee from the bug circus was a little hard flat green creature.  For it's small size it made an awfully big noise when it landed on anything plastic in my car.

My first instinct was to get out and try to swoosh the freaky little bug out of my car, but I had already pulled half way out of my parking spot and their was another student impatiently waiting for me to move.

So against my better judgement I decided to drive away with my little green passenger.  As I drove the perimeter of campus I tried to forget about the stowaway.  That little poop refused to buckle up and sit still and hearing him jumping around the car became a huge distraction.

As I rounded the corner of campus all of a sudden the green circus bug did a back flip and landed right on my face.  Being under attack, I freaked out!  In that split second while I was trying to keep the bug from sucking the eyeball out of my head I veered off the road!



Hello light post, meet my Datsun 260Z.  Yes, I drove straight into the side of the hill and hit the one and only light freakin light post on that stretch of road.  

If you haven't been in a wreck you don't know how freaky it is be moving one minute and the next to come to a dead stop after hitting a very solid object.  At first I wasn't sure what had happened.  Then the horror of the situation hit me.  I cried as the rubber neckers drove by and stared at me.  

I felt so incredibly stupid for what had happened, because that bug didn't jump up and try to suck my eyeball out of my head (but I'm sure he was thinking about it).  In fact, the little bugger wasn't anywhere near me.  

It did exist, it was just sitting down on the passenger side floor mat patiently waiting for me to take it to my place near the beach.

The truth is that I was watching the bug and not the road, but I told EVeRyone that the bug had attacked me!  I regretted telling that stupid lie because people thought it was funny! 

You know what happens when people enjoy a funny story?  They ask you to retell it!  It is easy to tell a lie once, but it gets harder when you have to do it over and over again.

Years later I finally fessed up to friends and family about the bug that didn't actually try to wrestle the steering wheel away from me and cause me to crash.  

They still thought the attacking bug story was funny so now if it gets brought up I just now tell it as the lie I made up to cover my stupidity.

28 comments:

The Blonde Duck said...

It's a GLUG! A Ginourmous Lime Green Unusual Gnat!

Melissa said...

OMG... I am laughing SO hard!! I hate when a bug gets in the car and you have to worry about where it's going to fly next....

jenn said...

Oh that is funny. I almost wrecked because of a tiny tiny spider one time.

Momma said...

OMG! Too funny!

Kristin said...

I almost crashed my truck a few years back because of a spider. Yuck I hate spiders.

Wifey Dessert said...

omg!! i totally wrecked one time because i was looking for an ink pen haha.. so i feel your pain :)

Rachael said...

i have had a lot of near misses from things quite similar!

Saundra@ItalianMamaGoneCrazy said...

I would have done THE SAME THING!!!

even now!!! Yikes!!!

Michele said...

Attack of the killer bugs! I would have done the same thing!

Jenners said...

I'm sorry but a bug in the face is the same as an all-out attack. I don't care what people say.

Los said...

This is about the same thing that happened to my brother, but his "bug" was a bumble bee.

angie said...

That bug must have been a monster! :)

Your poor car. Poor you! :)

Robin said...

Oh man!
I could totally see myself doing something like that.
PS- Awesome car! Don't you wish you still had it?

Tabitha Blue said...

Hahahah, yeah the bug attacking story is pretty funny!! I like that one!!
:)
~Tabitha~

freshmommyblog.com

blueviolet said...

It definitely does make for a good story and a VERY funny one!

Tiaras & Tantrums said...

OMG - you are not going to believe this - THAT WAS THE FIRST car I learned to drive - it was my brother's - I remember trying to shift and drive and not speed and he was screaming at me and I was only 13 and trying to even see b/c I was so short! HA HA

Sam_I_am said...

haha, I have problems with jumping trees. Stupid bugs! lol

Debbie said...

I don't think it was a lie. That bug was totally to blame.

mine, by magpie said...

omg- that's the greatest lie ever told!!!!

CC said...

Bwhahahaha! I would have totally freaked too. And may have even told people the same lie. ;)

Liz (Loving Mom 2 Boys) said...

I probably would have told the same story...although my first car was a LeBaron and I'm sure everyone would have thought I did it on purpose.

nikkicrumpet said...

LOL I would have crashed too...even if the thing was still on the floor...wait on second thought. I would have jumped out of the car and made the other person wait...I couldn't have driven an inch with that freaky thing anywhere near me!

lisaschaos said...

That's a pretty funny lie and didn't really hurt anyone. I like your embellishment of the story. :)

Mama Kat said...

It's so true! When you make something up like that and have to re tell it over and over, pretty soon you're just mumbling the story and shrugging it off like "I don't really remember...it's not that big a deal...." Too funny!

I would have laughed even harder hearing the true story though...I mean really...you were just WATCHING a bug. How completely transfixed on a bug do you need to be to crash your car!?! This was a great one!!

The Blonde Duck said...

I moved! Come visit me at www.aduckinherpond.com.

Mamarazzi said...

best. story. ever.

seriously...H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S!!

WheresMyAngels said...

Oh that is hilarious! I love it!

I used to be afraid of spiders and I remember in college fleeing my car at an intersection because a spider floated infront of my face.

Casey's trio said...

UGH...I can understand why you freaked out! I hate bugs!

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